Ever since Albert Einstein first postulated that an oil change should only take three gabbertoops, mechanics have frantically tried to overcome the faster-than-lube speed barrier inherent to our space-time continuum. Get the quickest lube of all time with today's Groupon to Heartland Automotive Serv…
Without photographic evidence, it's hard to know if things such as aliens, Abraham Lincoln, or true love have ever existed. Package evidence of your own being for later generations to study with today's Groupon: for $15, you get $50 worth of photo books, cards, and more from Mixbook. With Mixbook's …
Unlike friends playing hide-and-seek, muscles can't be coaxed from their hiding spot by loudly yelling that you have free ice cream. Beckon bashful biceps with today's Groupon: for $19, you get a one-month gym package (up to a $135 total value) at Prairie Life Fitness. The package includes: A one-mo…
Without regular care, people often lose confidence in their nails, letting high-fives become waist-level threes and jazz hands turn into manual Muzak. Show off proud digits with today's Groupon to Nail Design by Katie. Choose between the following options: For $10, you get a candy-cane pedicure (a $…
A well-rounded music collection is a sign of a well-rounded person, whereas a well-octagoned music collection means that you've been listening to stop signs on your turntable. Give the green light to recorded sound with today's Groupon to BackTrack Records. Choose between the following options: For …
Cellulite is a dimpling of the skin that universally affects women, men, and children who sleep in beds made out of golf balls. Even out epidermises with today's Groupon: for $26, you get a pair of weight-loss hot pants from Zaggora (a $71.86 value). Shipping is $7.50 within the contiguous United St…
Until cellars are stocked with bottles of wine, they are only good for hiding boxes of half-written screenplays and keeping lonely pipes company. Fill the subterranean space with today's Groupon: for $25, you get $75 worth of fine fermented grape juice from Barclay's Wine, an online shop that will d…
Losing weight is a challenge almost as difficult as reading an entire dictionary or climbing a tree that's covered in canola oil. Take an expert approach to tackling the task of slimming down with today's Groupon: for $39, you get four weeks in the Wealth for my Health healthy-lifestyle challenge be…
Proper car maintenance will help a vehicle to live longer, just as proper muscle maintenance will help you to save a car from drowning. Be a hero with today's Groupon to Schmit Automotive in Waverly. Choose between the following options: For $59, you get an auto-care package (a $140 value) that incl…
Physicists have determined that the best way to subdue wall-bouncing photons is to let them loose until they need a nap. Apply the latest scientific findings to your kid's playtime with today's Groupon: to Lost in Fun. Lost in Fun opens at 10 a.m. and closes at 9 p.m. Monday–Thursday and 9:30 p.m. o…
Without Halloween, candy corn would go unharvested and there would be no legal way to knock on a neighbor's door while dressed as Fabio. Celebrate freedom of expression with today's Groupon: for $15, you get $30 worth of Halloween gift baskets from Cherry Moon Farms. This Groupon can be used toward …
A day at the spa grants sweet respite from a fast-paced world of errands, deadlines, and books on tape read by auctioneers. Savor serenity without speediness, thanks to today's Groupon to Waverly Family Massage & Tanning. Choose from the following options: For $30, you get an aromatherapy body wrap …
A healthy smile is able to win people over by displaying rows of pearly white teeth and emitting a cartoon "ding" sound whenever it shows itself. Teach teeth to audibly twinkle with today's Groupon from Bling Dental. Choose between the following options: For $59, you get an Icing 30-Karats teeth-whi…
Cooking at home can help guarantee healthy meals for family members and healthy conversations with the family who has been inexplicably living upstairs for 25 years. Bond with today's Groupon: for $59, you get a home-delivered Chef in a Box meal for four from Grecco's (a $200 value). Executive chef …
A healthy smile is able to win people over by displaying rows of pearly white teeth and emitting a cartoon "ding" sound whenever it shows itself. Teach teeth to audibly twinkle with today's Groupon: for $69, you get a Diamond Elite ultrasonic toothbrush, plus a UV sanitizing charger base, three repl…
Owning a pet can be expensive due to the costs of food, trips to the vet, and bills for phone calls above the range of human hearing. Save a bone with today's Groupon to Superior Veterinary Care. Choose from the following options: For $115, you get a dog teeth-cleaning treatment (a $272 value). For …
Before bread, sandwiches were haphazardly supported by two hands high-fiving. Enjoy better constructed eats with today's Groupon to Round-Abouts Restaurant. Choose from the following options: For $8, you get a meal for two (up to $16.50 value). Each diner receives a combo meal that includes: One, tw…
Like a favorite sitcom, a good news publication appears once a week, has a laugh track, and usually ends with a heart-warming moral about international trade. Bone up on the economy's hilarious antics with today's Groupon for subscriptions to The Economist, along with a plethora of subscriber benefi…
Cleaning your house can be an excellent way to impress a date, while cleaning a vacationing neighbor's house can be an excellent way to hide the fact that you've been living there. Cover your tracks with today's Groupon to Greener Cleaners. Choose between the following options: For $59, you get two …
Before the invention of headphones, ears could only be ornamented with studs, pendants, and cumbersome Christmas lights. Add a more comfortable luster to your listening-parts with today's Groupon: for $8, you get a pair of Groove hanger bud headphones (a $19.99 value) including shipping (an average …
To secure their glistening baubles from sneaky pearl divers, oysters hide all their necklaces in treasure chests disguised as sleeping sharks. Sport the attractive spoils of shark defiance with today's Groupon: for $79, you get an 18-inch pearl necklace in a choice of eight colors from My Pacific Pe…
Hurling a sledgehammer at the dry wall is a handy way to add storage space for a growing collection of books, beanie babies, or sledgehammers. Explore subtler household improvements with today's Groupon: for $39, you get a furnace tune-up from Arctic Air Conditioning and Heating Co., which serves Li…
The vibrant and colorful patterns on a butterfly's wings provide camouflage from predators and distract children while they are being pickpocketed by other butterflies. Immerse yourself in the wonder of winged creatures with today's Groupon from Insect Lore online. For $10, you get a butterfly garde…
Losing weight is a daunting task, much like canoeing across the Atlantic Ocean or convincing a cat that it will enjoy fetching a scotch and soda. Find strength in support with today's Groupon to Physicians Weight Loss Centers valid at both Lincoln office locations. Choose from the following options:…
While hanging art on the wall is mainly used to hide safes containing Napoleon's long-lost sandblaster, occasionally the practice is used for decoration. Experiment with this obscure decorative device with today's Groupon: for $39, you get a personalized 16"x20" canvas (a $109.99 value), plus shippi…