Despite their inability to speak, cars communicate signs of distress through warning lights, strange noises, and a refusal to return Coldplay CDs. Perk up a melancholy ride with today's Groupon: for $15, you get an oil change and tire rotation at Auto-Lab (a $49.14 value). The ASE-certified technici…
Unlike staying in your parents' basement, lodging in a hotel includes housekeeping, clean towels, and permission to watch the scary parts of Home Alone. Luxuriate in liberty with today's Groupon to Beachfront Hotel in Houghton Lake. Choose between the following options: For $74, you get one night in…
Sophisticated scanners make sandwiching coworkers between two pieces of plate glass to preserve office-party memories a thing of the past. Take advantage of technological innovations with today's Groupon: for $40, you get $100 worth of photo and video digitization services from ScanDigital. Up to th…
Unlike professional athletes, the best professional cleaners don't finish a hard day's work by autographing everything in sight. Bask in untarnished cleanliness with today's Groupon to Avery Clean. Choose between the following options: For $39, you get a maintenance clean (up to a $128 value) that i…
Although inflatable muscle suits are easy to apply and double as flotation devices, natural brawn actually lifts heavy objects and doesn't deflate when given a routine allergy shot. Blow up your fitness routine with today's Groupon: for $39, new members get a membership package at Snap Fitness (up t…
Like the earth, a sandwich is made of layers and gathers its strength from its meaty core, which pushes condiments toward the crust to erupt and bury fingers in deliciousness. Let rivers of mayo magma run with today's Groupon: for $10, you get $20 worth of subs, sandwiches, and deli fare at Ted-Dee'…
Tea was discovered in ancient China when a leaf blew in the window and landed in the emperor's bath, which he was slurping through a straw. Sip a more modern incarnation with today's Groupon: for $8, you get a five-drink punch card at Bubble Island, valid for any five nonblended drinks (up to a $19.…
Smooth skin is like freshly frosted birthday cake: it looks so delicious that no one cares how old you are. Flaunt face cakes with today's Groupon: for $99, you get six laser hair-removal sessions at Vasaio Life Spa in Grand Rapids (up to an $895 value). Treatments may be applied to the following ar…
The earliest professional organizers completed such monumental projects as de-cluttering Pandora's box and restacking sedimentary deposits. Find help wrangling big projects with today's Groupon: for $35, you get three hours of concierge assistance from Olsen Concierge Services (a $75 value). Concier…
Hair follicles often become emaciated due to constantly expending energy to retain their vice-like grip on the scalp. Bulk up thinned-out strands with today's Groupon: for $149, you get a three-month laser hair-growth-treatment package at Another Look Hair Institute (a $1,125 value). The hair-growth…
Like an acrylic bathtub, improperly maintained skin can wind up dull, cracked, and littered with derelict rubber duckies. Freshen up your features with today's Groupon to Birmingham Cosmetic Surgery & Vein Center in Jackson. Choose between the following options: For $99, you get three microdermabras…
Sigmund Freud once said, "Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar," at which point he mistakenly attempted to light the lollipop dangling from his lower lip. Dig into the psychology of stogies with today's Groupon: for $50, you get a choice of cigar packages from Seasonal Cigars, redeemable by phone order…
Like the Rubik's cube, swing-dance-revival revivals, and the swimsuit portion of the presidential debates, celebrity news can provide hours of entertainment for average Americans. Keep up with Hollywood's finest with today's Groupon: for $30, you get 52 issues of Us Weekly (a $67 value). Since 1977,…
Like a favorite sitcom, a good news publication appears once a week, has a laugh track, and usually ends with a heart-warming moral about international trade. Bone up on the economy's hilarious antics with today's Groupon for subscriptions to The Economist, along with a plethora of subscriber benefi…
Like the framework of a mighty skyscraper, the core helps humans hold up the weight of the sky. Stay firm against the firmament with today's Groupon to Pilates Zone in East Lansing. Choose from the following options: For $33, you get five Pilates floor classes (up to a $75 value). For $49, you get f…
Until cellars are stocked with bottles of wine, they are only good for hiding boxes of half-written screenplays and keeping lonely pipes company. Fill the subterranean space with today's Groupon: for $25, you get $75 worth of fine fermented grape juice from Barclay's Wine, an online shop that will d…
Mediterranean civilizations invented many lasting concepts, developing astronomy to explain the cosmos and democracy to equally divide lamb kebabs. Split a skewer with today's Groupon to Ali Baba Mediterranean Cuisine in East Lansing. Choose between the following options: For $10, you get $20 worth …
Hair removal gives shiftless lasers a creative outlet during their spare time, which would otherwise be spent harassing cats and blinding the Hubble. Give a beam a new purpose with today's Groupon to Aurora Aesthetic Surgery in East Lansing. Choose from the following options: For $99, you get four l…
Recent studies show that using nutritional supplements can maximize workouts, allowing exercisers to run the 40-yard dash in only 20 yards. Garner your fitness efforts with today's Groupon: for $10, you get $20 worth of groceries and vitamins at The BetterHealth Store, valid at 13 Michigan locations…
The sun's energy not only tans people's skin, but also gives flowers the strength they need to keep from screaming when they're plucked. Maintain human sensitivity to being bouqueted with today's Groupon to J2 Tanning in DeWitt. Choose from the following options: For $10, you get one month of unlimi…
Teenagers idolize pizza due to its portable nature and refusal to stay in a box, man. Eat your way to independence with today's Groupon: for $7, you get $14 worth of Greek cuisine and pizza at Bell's Greek Pizza in East Lansing. Pizzas burst from the ovens of Bell's Greek Pizza, laden with the flavo…
Spooky is the most neglected of the five basic human emotions: spooky, joy, sorrow, grouchy, and wet. Get horror glands pumping with today's Groupon: for $11, you get combo admission for two people to McCurdy's Revenge Haunted Houses in Corunna (a $24 value). Entering its 10th season, McCurdy's Reve…
Life is full of unanswered questions, such as who really built the pyramids, where swiss cheese gets its holes, and what the "J" in Michael J. Fox stands for. Get to the bottom of a solvable mystery with today's Groupon: for $25, you get one ticket to a two-hour dinner and whodunit performance by Th…
Movie stars maintain gleaming-white grins not only to look good on the red carpet but also to double as flashlights during haunted-house investigation scenes. Become your own beacon with today's Groupon: for $59, you get an in-home Icing teeth-whitening treatment from Bling Dental (a $199 value). Bl…
Without photographic evidence, it's hard to know if things such as aliens, Abraham Lincoln, or true love have ever existed. Package evidence of your own being for later generations to study with today's Groupon: for $15, you get $50 worth of photo books, cards, and more from Mixbook. With Mixbook's …